mental allergens
a few things that irritate me. some to a really, really inordinate degree.
- When people who work an evening shift call their meal break “lunch.” Um. It’s dark out. Therefore, it’s dinner. Duh.
- Soup at Hand. Gross. Don’t the noodles ever get clogged up in that little hole? Just use a damn spoon.
- Those godawful UGG boots that every woman under 35 appears to be wearing right now. I estimate that I have seen roughly 2 million pairs of these now. That’s 4 million UGG-lee boots. And out of all those boots, they have only looked good on ONE person. And she’s super cute. That’s only a .00005% success rate. Plus, come on—something is just clearly bizarre about buying rough-and-tumble sheepskin boots built for the Outback at Nordstrom. For two hundred dollars.
- The fact that Minneapolis is not on this list. Morrissey, what do you have against us? We’re Minnesotans! We share your English reticence and repression!
- Being “corrected” by a Green Mill waiter when I order bruschetta (brew-SKET-ah). “Okay, miss, so you’d like the bruschetta (brew-SHET-ah), then?” Listen. I�ve taken about 6 years of Italian, buddy, and C + H = K. You don’t have to agree with me and you can continue to dine at Ciatti’s (in the local parlance, this is pronounced SEE-aht-ee’s) on your day off, but I�d sure appreciate it if you’d not use that condescending tone with me. Thanks.
- The smell of stale, sour coffee grounds as the janitor dumps them out at the end of the day. When this scent comes wafting into my office from the kitchen it is not at all like a Folger’s ad.
- That new Burger King ad with ex-Hootie and Brooke Burke and a veritable host of other B-listers. You know the one. (And if you don’t, it’s here.) The buckets of “ranch dressing” are especially troubling.
- Scanning.
All right, I’m done now. Whew. That should be enough for a while. But before I go, see here for things that irritate other people. Although I do think it’s a bit—um—odd to, essentially, refer to the Communist oppression of Poland as an “annoyance,” I get great comfort from this article anyhow. I’m not alone! (Look quickly, as the article’s week of free access expires tomorrow, 3/22. Come to think of it, that�s another thing that irritates me. Dammit.)